If you’ve landed here, chances are you’ve experienced—or are beginning to recognize—the painful effects of narcissistic abuse. Whether it happened in a romantic relationship, within your family, at work, or in a friendship, the impact can be overwhelming. Confusion, self-doubt, and isolation often linger long after the relationship ends.
This blog exists to remind you: you are not alone, and what you’ve experienced is real.
Why This Blog Exists
Narcissistic abuse can be subtle and hard to name. Survivors often spend years questioning themselves before finding words to describe what happened. Here, we shine light on those hidden dynamics, break down the tactics abusers use, and share stories of healing so you can feel validated and supported.
Our mission is simple:
Educate about the patterns of narcissistic abuse.
Empower survivors with knowledge, tools, and boundaries.
Encourage healing through stories, resources, and community.
What You’ll Find Here
✨ Articles & Insights – Understanding gaslighting, manipulation, trauma bonds, and recovery.
✨ Healing Tools – Practical steps to rebuild self-worth, set boundaries, and move forward.
✨ Resources – Links to books, therapy options, and support communities.
A Note to Survivors
Healing from narcissistic abuse isn’t a straight line—it’s a journey with ups and downs. Be gentle with yourself as you explore these pages. Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and remember: healing is possible, and you are worthy of peace, respect, and love.
Let’s Walk This Path Together
Thank you for being here. Whether you’re in the early stages of recognizing abuse or further along in your recovery, this blog is meant to guide, support, and empower you.
Welcome to your safe space.
So, after reading Rebecca's story, lets take a look at what she endured from a narcissistic view:
🩷 Love Bombing
At the start of the relationship:
“At first, it was all ‘wow,’ he made me feel special… He was captain of the rugby team… I felt chosen.”
Classic love-bombing: overwhelming you with attention, charm, and admiration to make you feel lucky and “chosen” before revealing his true self.
Moving quickly into a house and starting a family also reflects how narcissists often push for fast commitment.
🎭 Manipulation / Control
During pregnancy and postpartum:
Refusing to help with preparations (“He was not excited… I did all the prep…”) and prioritising triathlons instead of family responsibilities.
This subtly shifts all the burden onto you, normalising your exhaustion while he stays detached.
Financial control:
Checking the banking app while you shopped, confronting you item by item.
Giving you an allowance and denying basic needs (haircuts, clothes).
Using public humiliation over a £20 dog surcharge.
This is textbook financial abuse and coercive control.
Weaponising parenthood:
He played the “fun parent” while you did the hard work, undermining you in front of the kids.
Later, threatening you with the house (“the boys would not want to be with me because he would have the family home”)—using the children and property as leverage.
🌀 Gaslighting
Repeatedly telling you:
“You are over-dramatic. You always over-react to things!”
“I don’t see a problem in this relationship; you’re always looking for issues that aren’t there.”
“You’re paranoid” when your child had clear medical issues.
This is gaslighting: making you question your perceptions, reality, and even your sanity so you doubt yourself.
After you snapped (slapping him once), he reframed himself as the victim of your “abuse,” ignoring the years of provocation and his control.
This is DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender) — a very common narcissistic tactic.
🧊 Withholding / Stonewalling
Refusal of intimacy for years and refusal of marriage counselling: “That’s not my thing.”
Saying “Get away from me, I don’t want to see you when you’re like this.”
Leaving you alone after surgery, postpartum, or crying in the garage.
This is withholding affection and support as punishment — a covert form of abuse.
🧠 Projection / Blame-Shifting
Accusing you of being “selfish” for wanting him to help, for bottle feeding, or even for taking mild medication.
Framing your understandable reactions as the cause of the problems (“This is all your doing; it’s all your fault.”)
He projects his own selfishness and neglect onto you.
⚠️ Public Humiliation
Belittling you in front of staff at the hotel over a minor surcharge.
Confronting you about spending a few pounds on wine while on holiday.
These public shaming episodes erode your confidence and isolate you.
👶 Using the Children as Weapons (Post-Separation Abuse)
Turning up during your access to make kids uneasy.
Verbally attacking your father in front of the children.
Constant stream of correspondence during your parenting time.
This is ongoing coercive control even after separation.
🎭 Image Management
“To this day, my ex is a ‘pillar of the community.’”
Classic narcissist double life: respected and admired publicly, but abusive privately.
💣 Smear Campaign / Sabotage
Sabotaging viewings of the family home to obstruct your escape.
Spreading a narrative to others where he’s the victim and you’re “crazy” or “unstable.”
🔁 Hoovering (Trying to Pull You Back In)
Only when he realised you’d met someone else did he suggest working on the relationship.
This is hoovering: feigned remorse or interest designed to lure you back when he senses you’re moving on.
Once we dissect the story and zone in on the abuse, it is a huge eye-opener and hopefully helps you to fully understand the manipulation that is often missed by the untrained eye.
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