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Unpacking Corrina's Story

 

For over two decades, she lived as a strong, capable woman. A single parent to three children—two autistic, one with a serious heart condition—she built a life based on resilience, resourcefulness, and hope.

After years of raising her family alone, building a career abroad, travelling the world, and rediscovering herself, she re-entered Scotland feeling confident, financially secure, and ready to share her life with someone.

What followed was not love.

It was the gradual, calculated destruction of a woman who had already overcome more adversity than most ever will.

 

This is the reality of narcissistic abuse—silent, subtle, and devastating. Below are the narcissistic traits and tactics she endured, explained through the lens of her lived experience.

 

1. Love Bombing and Idealisation

 

When she met Richard, everything felt magical.
A connection that was instant.
A date that lasted days.
Attention that felt intoxicating.

This intensity is not romantic—it’s strategic.

 

 

• Love bombing

Lavish attention, constant communication, and immediate intimacy created the illusion of a soulmate connection.
This served one purpose: to secure her trust and emotional dependence.

 

• Mirroring

He reflected back her values, interests, and desires, making her believe they were deeply compatible.

 

• Fast-tracking the relationship

Moving in quickly, future-talking, and creating emotional shortcuts helped him establish control before she could see the red flags.

 

2. Information Gathering (Weaponised Vulnerability)

 

She thought he was genuinely interested in getting to know her.
In reality, he was collecting personal information to weaponise later.

This behaviour reflects:

 

• Narcissistic manipulation

By encouraging her to open up, he acquired emotional “blackmail material.”

 

• Coercive control

Her fears, insecurities, past traumas, needs, and doubts were later used to dominate and dismantle her self-esteem.

He wasn’t listening to love her—he was gathering intel.

 

3. Gaslighting and Reality Manipulation

 

Over time, he made her believe:

 

she didn’t know how to be in a relationship

she was too independent

she didn’t truly want a partner

she was the problem

 

This is a classic cluster of narcissistic traits:

 

• Gaslighting

He distorted reality so subtly and consistently that she questioned her own sanity, memory, and judgment.

 

• Projection

He accused her of the behaviours he was exhibiting—control, indifference, emotional unavailability.

 

• Erosion of self-trust

Eventually, she couldn’t trust her own decisions, identity, or instincts.

 

Gaslighting is one of the most psychologically damaging tactics, and it was used relentlessly.

 

4. Coercive Control and Loss of Autonomy

 

Once she lived in his home, the dynamic shifted fully.

 

• House rules increasing over time

A common tactic used by narcissists to gradually restrict autonomy.

 

• Control over appearance and lifestyle

Dictating hair colour, clothing, food, and daily routines stripped her confidence and identity.

 

• Walking on eggshells

Unpredictable rage and impossible standards created a climate of constant anxiety.

 

This wasn’t partnership—it was a dictatorship disguised as love.

 

5. Emotional Abuse: Rage, Demeaning, and Silent Treatments

 

His emotional responses were calculated and punishing:

 

• Berating and demeaning her

Verbal attacks designed to humiliate and diminish her self-worth.

 

• Silent treatment

Weeks of being ignored until she broke—a textbook narcissistic punishment used to regain control.

 

• Pseudo-depression episodes

Not true vulnerability, but withdrawal designed to evoke guilt, caretaking, and compliance.

 

• Charm in public, cruelty in private

Classic “public angel, private monster” behaviour.

 

She lived in a cycle of tension, explosion, and false calm—classic narcissistic abuse patterns.

 

6. Isolation from Friends and Family

 

Every narcissist isolates their victim. For her, this looked like:

 

• Making her feel selfish for wanting contact

Subtle emotional manipulation reframed her relationships as threats.

 

• Sabotaging trips and visits

Being charming with others, then punishing her as soon as they were alone.

 

• Living far from support

Her family lived in England—a fact he exploited to deepen her dependence.

 

Isolation is one of the most dangerous elements of narcissistic abuse, because it removes lifelines.

 

7. Financial Abuse and Coercion

 

Her financial security—built from decades of hard work—became an asset for him.

 

• Coercing her into debt

She accumulated nearly £30,000 of debt in her name while supporting the household.

 

• Exploiting her income

He contributed nothing, yet demanded more.

 

• Sabotaging her work capacity

Her mental breakdown forced her to take a home-working job, further isolating her and reducing income.

 

Financial abuse is a core component of coercive control—and he executed it with precision.

 

8. Devaluation and Destruction of Self-Esteem

 

As she became more compliant, his abuse escalated—a predictable narcissistic trajectory.

 

• Attacking her body and hygiene

Cruel claims that she smelled, was unattractive, or unworthy of physical contact.

This wasn’t about truth—it was about breaking her spirit.

 

• Humiliation

These comments created deep shame, making her feel unlovable and dependent.

 

• Brainwashing

She began altering everything—speech, clothing, behaviour—just to avoid conflict.

 

9. Surveillance and Paranoia Induction

 

Finding spy cameras was the turning point.

 

• Monitoring behaviour

Surveillance is a severe escalation of coercive control, often used by sociopathic or narcissistic abusers.

 

• Cultivating fear

Cameras instil paranoia, hypervigilance, and a sense of being “owned.”

 

• Total loss of privacy

Even the home—once a safe space—was violated.

This crosses from narcissistic abuse into highly dangerous territory.

 

10. Post-Discard Abuse and Punishment

 

When she prepared to leave, he escalated dramatically.

 

• Restricting movement

Banning her from parts of the house.

 

• Cutting off utilities

Removing a fuse, turning off hot water, hiding basic items like sugar.

 

• Digital control

Blocking her phone, restricting internet access.

 

• Emotional regression and spite

Childish tantrums designed to break her resolve.

These are classic narcissistic “discard phase” behaviours: cruelty, control, and vindictiveness when they lose power.

 

11. Identity Collapse and Breakdown

 

By the end:

she was financially ruined

psychologically broken

isolated

unable to eat, function, or cope

doubting her worth and identity

without a car, support system, or safe home

 

This is not weakness—this is the predictable outcome of prolonged narcissistic abuse.

Her story mirrors what thousands of survivors endure in silence.

 

12. Escape, Recovery, and Reclamation

 

With the help of a mental health charity and Women’s Aid, she found the courage to leave—a process far more complex than outsiders realise.

 

• She faced homelessness.

• She risked losing her cat.

• She had no financial safety net.

• She had no reference, no savings, no car.

 

And still, she found a way out.

 

Today, four months free, she is slowly rebuilding her identity, peace, and independence.

Healing from narcissistic abuse takes time—but every step she now takes is hers.

Every breath comes without fear.
Every moment of stillness is a victory.

 

A Final Message to Survivors

 

You don’t need a “profound message” to justify your survival.
The most powerful testimony is this:

 

You left. You lived. You are rebuilding. And that is everything.

 

If this story resonates with you, please know:

 

these behaviours are real

you are not imagining it

leaving is possible

and you are deserving of safety, peace, and love

You are not alone.
And your story does not end with him.